O.M.G.

Chris and I had been tossing back and forth the idea of eloping, it'd be quick, cheap, and who needs a party, it's already like we practically married.

-Don't worry this idea was shot down quickly.

So yesterday I called mom at about 9 a.m. I told her I wasn't feeling good and my boss said it'd be fine if I went home after lunch. Mom asked what didn't feel good and I told her-I'm light headed and dizzy, as well as being sick to my stomach. There was a long pause on the phone-

"Ash, come on that sounds like something you'd tell a school teacher to go home early."
"You're joking, right mom?"

I was VERY annoyed that she'd accuse me of doing something so stupid-I'm not five, I'm a big girl, I go to work, and I know when I'm sick enough to go home. I told her I'd talk to her later and hung up quickly and went back to work.

Next thing I know I have 2 missed calls and a very threatening voice mail from mom telling me I better call her back right now or else! **ohh I'm shaking in my boots mom!**

I call her back and this is how the convo goes.

Mom: I am going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest.

Ashley: (annoyed) What?

Mom: Are you pregnant?

Ashley: (yelling-at work) WHAT!?!?!?!?

Mom: (worried) just tell me, it's ok if you are, I won't be mad, I promise.

Ashley: ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?!?!?!

Mom: Well

Ashley: No do you understand what you're asking me? No! I'm not pregnant, if I am it'd be more of a surprise to me than to you!!!!!

Mom: Are you sure, you guys talked about eloping and today you don't feel good I thought maybe you were pregnant....

Ashley: NO NO NO NO NO I'm not pregnant!!!(still yelling I mind you).

Mom: Well...if you're not pregnant, maybe you should call your dad and let him know that.

Ashley: What? You called DAD AND TOLD HIM I WAS PREGNANT?!

Mom: Well I was really sure you were, and you were ignoring my calls and I wanted him to call and talk to you about it.

Ashley: How in the world did all of this happen in 5 minutes....UGH.

So then, after this insane-no I'm sorry, UNBELIEVABLE conversationg, I then had to call my dad and explain to him that I am in fact, NOT pregnant, mom has just lost her mind. That was probably one of the most awkward things I have ever had to tell my dad. Which is good, b/c unlike mom, dad explained he'd be livid if I was pregnant-and rightfully so.

So after this all happens I have to explain the story to the whole office since they heard only one half of it. I also reassured them that I was not pregnant. Then I e-mailed Michelle and Patty to tell them this. Patty-the good sister, keep her mouth shut and just laughed. Michelle on the other hand preceded to e-mail the whole Middlebrooks clan and explain them the story.


I almost feel like I should right Obama a letter and let him know too, I'm not pregnant, just in case mom happened to call him.

and in case you're wondering. When I don't feel good and ppl automatically ask me if I'm pregnant, it does not make me happy.


Boo.